As Valentine’s Day approaches, we can all recall those cringe-worthy “first date” scenarios where the person across the table seems more interested in themselves than in getting to know you. Unfortunately, a similar dynamic can unfold in the workplace, with narcissistic tendencies causing strife throughout your entire team. And while escaping a bad date requires a graceful “thanks, but no thanks,” workplace encounters with narcissism aren’t so easily remedied.
As someone deeply immersed in the world of Human Resources and executive recruitment, I’ve witnessed my fair share of workplace narcissism. While there’s a lot of great content on how to work with a narcissist, I’ve often wondered, “What if we could preemptively avoid the scenario?”
Consider this your “first date” checklist for spotting narcissism during an interview. Because let’s be honest, no one wants to be stuck in a one-sided professional relationship.
Narcissists: Masters of the “Me” Show
Before we dive into red flags, let’s be clear: we’re not talking about full-blown clinical narcissism. Instead, we’re focusing on those grandiose, self-absorbed, and manipulative traits that can make someone a workplace nightmare. Remember Terrell Owens’ iconic “I love me some me”? That’s the essence of the narcissist – an orchestra where the only instrument is their ego.
Red Flags of a Narcissistic Candidate
So, how do you spot potential narcissists during the interview process? Here are a few red flags to consider:
- The “We” Who Never Appears: Listen for the elusive “we.” If their vocabulary revolves around “I,” “me,” and “mine,” it’s time to raise an eyebrow. Narcissists rarely acknowledge the other people behind their success.
- Entitlement Over Empathy: Narcissists struggle with interpersonal relationships and often expect others to fulfill their every need. Assess their empathy by delving into questions about how they interact with their team.
- The Dissonance of Reality: Truth is a relative concept for the narcissist. Be wary of embellished resumes, conveniently vague answers, and a general sense of “too good to be true.” Ask probing questions and watch for inconsistencies.
- The Resume’s Revealing Rhythm: Check their career history. Narcissists rarely stay long at a particular place. While quick turnovers don’t necessarily indicate narcissism, be cautious if you notice a pattern of frequent job changes.
Unmasking Ego: Interview Questions to Spot Narcissism
Now, let’s get tactical. Here are some interview questions designed to expose narcissistic traits during the interview process:
1) Teamwork/Collaboration
“Tell me about a time you collaborated closely with a team. How did you contribute, and what were the challenges you faced?” Listen for a focus on individual achievements and a lack of empathy for teammates.
2) Handling Feedback
“Describe a situation where you received constructive feedback. How did you react, and what changes did you make?” Watch for defensiveness and a lack of willingness to learn.
3) Acknowledging Mistakes
“Share an example of a professional mistake you made. How did you handle it, and what did you learn?” Beware of attempts to downplay the mistake or blame others.
4) Lack of Empathy/Interpersonal Skills
“Tell me about a conflict you faced within your team. How did you resolve it?” Look for finger-pointing and a lack of understanding of others’ perspectives.
5) Unrealistic Expectations/Entitlement
“What are your non-negotiables regarding your work environment and perks?” Brace yourself for unrealistic demands and a sense of “I’m too good for this place.”
Advice for the “Oh No, We Hired One” Scenario
So, you missed the red flags, and now you’re stuck with a narcissistic colleague (or boss). Here are three options from Katia Beeden’s article on narcissistic bosses:
- Accept the Situation & Embrace the Unbearable: If the narcissist is a genius and irreplaceable, you might have to tolerate their quirks. Think Elon Musk – brilliant, but definitely not a team player.
- Change the Situation & Confront the Conflagration: This requires courage but can work. Confronting the leader can allow you to outline expectations and offer resources for improvement. It could also include developing strategies to provide support and resources to affected employees, including access to HR or counseling services if needed.
- End the Situation & Cut Your Losses: If all else fails and the narcissist’s behavior is causing harm, it’s time to walk away. Again, consulting with HR and legal counsel may be essential to ensure you are following all necessary procedures and protecting the organization from potential legal repercussions.
Spot the Red Flags, Hire the Bright Lights
Spotting a narcissist before they infiltrate your workplace is a smart move. By recognizing the red flags and asking the right questions, you can save yourself a world of headaches. Remember, a healthy work environment is crucial to happiness and productivity. So, keep your eyes peeled, your interview questions sharp, and your sanity intact.
By Kent Wilson